Five Star Bar

I got an invite for a pop up art show at some bar downtown.  My art walk neighbor does these small shows at different spots around town, mostly bars.  He encouraged me to participate so I think I just might go check it out.  It might be good for me to get out of the house for something other than workwork.  Cheap tall boys and an opportunity to take the metro link subway?  Sign me up!

***

I wonder how your day was?  

I wonder what you're doing tonight.

I wonder what goes on in that beautiful mind.  

It's hard being so detached.  It makes me feel so insignificant.  Unimportant and helpless.

You'd never ask for help.  You are too tough.  Too independent of mind.  You'd rather limp into the ER on your own strength than get wheeled in.  

"It's cool, I got it".

The toughest.

***

It's all so strange.  This artificial "you" that i've created in this space...

This blind faith that I now rely on to keep me going...it reminds me a lot of my days back in the church.  Where shit would be so fucked up in my life and how i'd just reach out and talk to no one in a vain desperate attempt to find peace.  Or who knows, maybe there was always someone there.  I s'pose I haven't given up on that whole idea entirely.

Feels real.  

That powerful brain of yours...

Could it be possible that it has left me a dopple ganger to look after me in your absence?  I almost expect to hear answers if I ask questions in the air.

Or I forealz done gone crazay.  Finding reassuring comfort from an overly imaginative conversation with myself.

Oh man.

***

I miss that laugh.  Such a great laugh.  I laugh just hearing it.

My artificial you doesn't laugh.  She just stares that fucking stare.  There is no right or wrong in those eyes.  Hollow and empty, void of any reason or compassion.  But she's a helluva lot better than no you.  

My wonderful abomination.

***

2 more hours before I can begin my drunkwalk/link ride adventure.

Gonna lay down.

Tired.

***

Thinking of you.