I am happy for you that you are happy.
That you have a support group now.
That you have people around you now.
Rather than wallowing in your thoughts in a dark empty place.
The same place I now find myself in.
This numbing isolating purgatory.
My only solace coming from imaginary conversations to a memory of what once was.
I'm doing my best to give you the benefit of the doubt. That there is a genuinely good hearted purpose in what is happening.
The silence makes me think of crazy things.
Like...
Perhaps now this problem is no longer yours nor anything you care to deal with.
Maybe it has become something that you hope in vain dies off on its own.
Because it would be so much easier than taking the initiative to tackle it head on.
Neither the patience nor the energy anymore.
Just nothing.
What a horrible way to go.
***
These are the days I fucking hate being here.
Where the will is weakest.
Loneliness re-channeling itself to rage.
Sick of the pain, heartbreak and nothingness.
***
Time to sterilize my brain to comatose.
And hope this goes away.
No comments:
Post a Comment