I was going through an extremely difficult time.  I chose to put a good chunk of that blame(unfairly) upon YOU.

I realize now that the failure in my marriage was all my doing.  "I" had the choice to be faithful or not.  Things happen for a reason.  As painful as it was, in the end...I did not fight for her.  Because deep within my heart I knew that I still wouldn't be happy w/ her even if we reconciled.  Some things just weren't meant to be.  And that was the most painful part.  To realize that what you knew was wrong.  All the dreams you shared were false.  Even so, it doesn't take away the memories, we were genuinely happy for awhile and we loved each other honestly for awhile.  I'll always have a scar and I will always love that woman.  But i'm ready to start my life over.  To do it right this time.  

I fight for you.  Because it's different.  I BELIEVE I can be truly happy with you.  This is a whole nother ball game.  I have too much at stake, too much to lose.  You are who I envision spending my days with.  Who will help me grow into the man and the life that I was supposed to have.  Who I want to build my empire around.  Do it all for your approval.

YOU YOU YOU

***

If you could see into me now you would know that my heart is pure again.

The bad guy is dead.

Been dead.

It took breaking free from that horrible place, that dark hole I was in.  Travelling miles and miles away to finally find myself again.

I'm back.

This boy you know and love.

The one you remember chasing sunsets with.  Who loved everything about you.  Every single last piece of you right down to your charming little faults.

I'm back.